


When my ships come in

by Augenblickgotter



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Aziraphale is Not Oblivious (Good Omens), F/M, Frottage, Gen, Hand Jobs, Human AU, M/M, Masturbation, Other, Selkie - Freeform, blown jobs, crowley as a selkie, crowley is the selkie, fairy tale AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:14:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29456586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Augenblickgotter/pseuds/Augenblickgotter
Summary: Ezra Fell is a writer, middle aged, single, had enough, but fine otherwise. A writer of myths and legends, and also soft core erotica, hasn't endeared him to his family. Nor has his preferences and lifestyles. But at 50 he's ready to start a new page, and accidentally does when he marries a Selkie through a kind gesture.Warning; Body shaming, homophobia, and slandering, emotional abuse are all alluded to. Also MATURE tags will be added for a reasonMore chapters to come!
Relationships: Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Sergeant Shadwell/Madame Tracy (Good Omens)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 32





	When my ships come in

**Author's Note:**

> There was an adorable prompt of what if someone accidentally handed back a Selkie's pelt, which is regarded as a gesture of proposing, and the next day they showed up at your doorstep proposing as they have seen humans to do?
> 
> BONUS! I'm writing flip versions of the characters in the human and selkie roles. [ The version with Aziraphale in the Selkie role is here. ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29454732)

Ezra A. Fell wasn't feeling as bad as he thought he would for turning 50.

Tonight was the actual date of his birth, but his friends wouldn't be there and his family wouldn't bother him. This year his day of birth fell on a glorious Thursday. Friends were working. The family was busy. The weekend was still 48 hours away when anyone might shatter his calm bubble.

Not today, thank goodness. He had booked a reservation for one at a decently expensive restaurant that evening. Just him. No small talk, no forced smiles or stories. Just him, by himself. Like he had wanted to try for years but never had the gumption to. 

Perhaps he should be grateful this age brought on wisdom and some form of bravery.

___

He finished up, slipped his tip under his glass, bidding the young waitress a wonderful evening.

He felt better than he had all day. Honestly, for the last year. 

He strode to exit. Things were becoming quiet with the thinning guests. The ones left were intimately whispering and leaning together over tumbling remains of desert and lipstick-smothered wine glasses.

For an instant, Ezra smacked the feeling of being single at 50 aside from seeing the couples and families with no envy. They were happy, why shouldn't he be as he was?

He passed some of the discrete reserved booths, out past the last line of large open tables that busboys were mostly cleaning up. Only one remained active with a well-heeled party of four. 

Ezra knew this little town attracted many filmmakers and photographers ( not to mention this region was endless historic towns and landscapes) and celebrities secretly hoping for a quiet authentic seaside European retreat, and Ezra wondered if this group wasn't something of that nature.

One of the most refined gentlemen Ezra had ever seen was seated facing out towards him. Trim as a blade, skin dark as a cut, his sharp elbows leaned on to the table as he appeared to devour the conversation with his sharp smile. To his right was a person of undetermined age and gender Ezra suspected one of the new types of runway models. Their bob of hair was whiter than his and their eyes icicly touched everything they looked over. On the man's right was an attractive red headed woman, with features that could win any argument by the rise of an eyebrow and infectious laughter. Her dress was equally red and she cut a slash through the room with her mere presence. The last person with their back turned was also a redhead with locks that nearly came to their shoulders. Their suit was trim and black and they wore tea shades, and Ezra was also unsure what gender they could be. No matter, they were all lovely in an unearthly way.

_"Probably models or actors on location. At least they look happy, it's rude for me to gawk."_

As he passed he noticed a crumpled garment behind the chair of the nearest party member he was passing. Black and large like a coat.

_"Oh, the person's coat. Well, they look like they will be done soon and they will notice..."_

A busboy hustled by baring a bin of plates and kicked it more askew with a foot. Ezra winced. He saw a shimmer across the garb that said it wasn't fabric, but fur. And what a dreadfully shame it was being kicked about. Another waiter did the same hurrying in the opposite direction. A woman passed Ezra and slowed, turning her head at the garment. He saw her eyes askance and then snap away when she spotted Ezra who had stopped in his tracks. She hurried off.

_"Oh, nasty lady wanted to take it. We can't have that."_

Ezra righted himself and stood in what felt like their private circle of light and laughter. 

He didn't want to get their attention, so silently reached down and snatched up the weighty piece. The moment his fingers grabbed it he knew it was exotic. 

_"Probably costs as much as my house. Good lord, it's heavenly."_

The sound disappeared around him as his thumb circled over it.

_"I've never felt anything so wonderful in my life."_

He didn't know how long he was standing until he heard the chair in front of him scuffle.

Sounds returned and he pulled his eyes from the swirling black depths of the cape. Everyone at the table was staring at him.

_"Oh dear, I am sure I look like a fool. Good job Ezra."_

The coat's owner had now spun around facing Ezra.

It turned out to be a very thin man, who was now staring at him agape from behind his glasses.

_"Oh hell! Now it looks like I was going to make off with the cape and was caught doing it. Oh dear."_

In the fastest motion possible the man hooked a finger up and lowered his shades almost to the tip of his nose. Ezra felt like he was shrinking and forced himself to make eye contact while his mind wheeled through the best apology it could dredge up.

He lost all ability to talk when he saw the eyes now revealed. They were the strangest shade of brown, no, amber Ezra had never seen on a person before. And they were abnormally large. And the centers, something was peculiar. Very peculiar to the point of leaving Ezra was hypnotized. He wanted to drape the shawl back on this person's shoulders and laugh at the whole misunderstanding and ask if he could sit at this table and join the party. 

_"Ezra, do something! You look like an idiot!"_

The man unexpectedly smiled with a bemused sigh.

This was enough to snap Ezra back to life.

"Oh, sorry dear," he sputtered, snapping out the capelet. "But, uhm... you dropped this... and I didn't want it kicked about... I mean, it was being kicked about so here;" He hurriedly draped it over the back of the man's chair and backed away.

"There you are! No foul done. Sorry to have bothered your party. I'll be off then."

Ezra spun on his heel and tried not to run.

He didn't hear anything. No thank you. No laughter. No whispers. No sarcastic remarks. Most importantly, no one shouting for him to come right back and explain his sorry little self.

 _"Don't call for me or I won't be able to stop myself from turning around to reply... just... let me go...."_ as his hand pressed to the door he heard the red-haired woman laughing loudly and other voices resume talking excitedly.

 _"Oh, well, if they find it amusing I hope that's all I was to them. Just a funny little man doing a funny little thing to be nice to... a very lovely person who probably wouldn't bother to look at me otherwise._ "

The awkwardness set in his homeward stroll slowed as he passed each street lamp.

_"Now I did it. All day I didn't make things strange for myself and I did it at the last moment. All I wanted to be was polite. Hmmm. Happy 50th, Ezra."_

________________

The knocking came again.

Ezra leaned up and glanced at his clock.

_"Oh dear, slept in. Well, I wasn't expecting anyone but..."_

Another knock.

"Oh, one moment please!" he called.

He sheepishly rummaged for clothes, having taken some off before bed but not everything, and had obviously just fallen asleep before finishing. He still had his trousers on. 

_"Rumpled as sin, but no time for that."_

The nearest thing he found was his sleeping top so he hurriedly did a few buttons on the front and grabbed a robe over that while kicking into some worn-out tennis shoes.

There, just a man at his home on the weekend.

He hurried to the door and opened it with an apology.

"Sorry, sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone."

There stood a person and it took only a microsecond for Ezra to recognize them. They were tall, very trim, and dressed stylishly in black. Black jeans, black boots, black belt, black shirt, and a sleek black jacket. Their crimson hair swept back from their forehead and behind their ears.

And sunglasses.

_"Oh no. This is so awkward and it hasn't even begun. I'll try and be friendly, start off on a pleasant note."_

"Oh!" Ezra said, noting his recognition. "I...uhm... hello! I... may I help you? Are you lost?"

The man was standing with little show of emotion, but now he smirked at Ezra talking. Just as he had last night. 

"Uhmm, sorry I am in such a state!" Ezra nervously chortled, waving a hand over his tartan robe. "I rather.... wasn't... expecting... I uhm.. is there something I can do for you, good sir?"

The man repeated the same movement to lower his glasses and those eyes appeared again. Ezra swallowed. He closed his front door to lean against, wondering why he wasn't locking himself on the other side and calling the police.

The Stranger garbled something in his throat like he had trouble speaking.

"Beg your pardon?" Ezra pushed.

"I... uhhnkk..." The Man seemed to have a pleasant enough voice, just having trouble making it work.

"I uhm, was sayin' that uhm..." While the Stranger pointedly stared downward and reached into a coat pocket. "I am not really great at words at times like this..."

"Well, uhm, is there something you need from me? Please." Ezra was being to get nervous. "Could you tell me why you are here, please, good fellow?"

The Man let out a chuckle, grinning as he fumbled in his pocket.

"Look, if this is about last night," Ezra rushed, holding up his hands, "Please please understand! There was a mistake!"

The Man froze.

"What?"

"Yes, you see, I know it looks like I was stealing your furs. But I wasn't. It was simply on the ground and I am sorry, I was just returning it."

The Man had been holding his breath. He exhaled with a whoop and touched his chest.

"Phew! Thank goodness!"

Ezra smiled as that weight flew from his chest.

_"See? I told the truth and now he won't sue me."_

He smiled back.

"See? Sorry! I couldn't help feeling it for a moment. It was the loveliest thing I had ever felt in my life."

The Man grinned harder and appeared to blush a little.

"If you say so," he tittered.

_"Oh I sound like the poor little man that I am. Time to try and send him off_... So, there, no harm meant. So sorry to have bothered your lovely party."

The Man man was now regarding Ezra wolfishly. Ezra desperately didn't want to cause this person and reason to dislike him and was growing more and more enamored with the long-toothed smile and those eyes. The uncanny notion the man was relishing Ezra made his queer heart jump. Perhaps he could invite him in for tea...

_"Into your dirty disheveled pigsty? Don't even try that Ezra, he probably just wanted to humiliate and threaten you into never trying to steal his expensive coat again. He looks like he could be a goddam model or actor that expects me to know who he is to further make me feel like the low plebeian I am. Shove off this port quickly."_

  
  


"So, uhm, with that, have a wonderful day... Mr...?"

"Crowley," the Man whispered.

"Ah. Have a wonderful day, Mr. Crowley.."

"Just Crowley."

"I see. Then have a wonderful day Crowley while I get ready for important things I have to do."

"Ezra?"

Ezra tried to stay calm but sweated. " _He knows my name... wait, he probably paid off the whole staff last night and got it. And that's how he found me. Time to get blunt. Sorry, Crowley."_

Ezra crossed his arms and furrowed his brows.

"Crowley, if you know my name and where I live, why don't you tell me why you are here then?"

"First, you told me your name..."

"I did no such thing!"

"Last night, when you handed my pelt back. You said your name. That you just turned 50. That you were alone. That you returned myself to me while others wouldn't. "

Ezra felt queasy but very much exposed in ways he only felt in dreams. _"Just like that one where you find yourself giving a lecture naked."_

"And..." The Man pulled something from his pocket. "I'm here to return the favor."

"There's no need," Ezra squeaked, trying to will his hand to the doorknob.

"Oh but, that's not the point, Angel."

He held out a small black velvet box. Like the kind wedding rings were in when a person proposed.

"The point is I am here to return your request wholeheartedly."

He flipped open the lid with a thumb.

Of course, it was a ring. And it was exactly the kind of ring Ezra had always wanted. Worn gold with etchings like feathers around it. And a small pale stone like an opal set in it.

Ezra gaped.

"I knew it felt real and my friends told me not to ignore this," Crowley added. "I thought it over. I told myself I couldn't be that lucky. I even went miles to see if it would change. But it didn't."

Ezra was reaching for the ring with a thrumming in his head. There was everything he wanted if he put it on. He could only stare back at Crowley who loomed closer into his space.

"For once in my life, I can say I'm happy to say I don't make the rules, I just follow them."

Ezra whimpered again and stared up at Crowley.

"I uhmmm... this is so fast..."

"Fast for me too!" Crowley cackled. "And I'm a fast person. But right now I feel like the luckiest Selkie alive."

"Selkie?"

Ezra's world crashed and he pulled his head back with a groan.

_"Oh, of course, everything is too good to be true."_

"Ezra?"

Ezra glared back at Crowley, furrowing his brows together and narrowing his eyes.

"Oh, of course. Lucky. Now, who set you up to this? Hmmm?"

"Wot?" Crowley was lost.

"WHO set up this hilarious Pun? Hmmm? Gabe? Someone at the university? My parents? Hmm?"

"Ezra, this isn't a joke..."

"Oh no, it isn't. **I'M** the joke then, right?!"

"NO!" Crowley was frantic. "Please, wait! Human, just listen to me!"

Ezra crossed his arms and turned, feeling himself flaming with embarrassment. 

"Just leave now you cruel and thoughtless person."

"No, please, don't say that!" Crowley was more stricken and breathing roughly.

Ezra narrowed his eyes, hoping he hit the core of whoever set up this highly personal joke.

"Yes, leave now you ridiculous seal man, back into the water from whence you came, and tell whoever sent you this was the most horrible thing that could have been done but at my age, I just don't care anymore."

Crowley had a hand over his heart.

Ezra started to fumble with his doorknob.

"Ezra Fell, human, listen!" Crowley heaved hard. "You... you... please just listen to what I have to say!" Ezra didn't turn back, but struck his mouth sideways and rolled his eyes.

"Fine. Do hurry then."

Crowley took a deep breath. "You clearly don't believe me when I say it. I am a Selkie. I'm from the deep and..."

"I happen to study myths and legends of the coast, Crowley," Ezra smugly cut in.

Crowley nodded. "I know. You know everything humans think they know. Please, then you know you gave my pelt back. " Crowley paused waiting for Ezra to fill in. It took a few seconds as Ezra recalled that part of the myth. He snapped his head over to Crowley who was sweating, pale and struggling for breath. 

"I... proposed?"

Crowley smiled weakly and held up the box.

"I accept. With my whole soul. I did already and... gasp... please don't send me off now. I might die before I get to the water."

There was no denying Crowley was actually in pain. His fair features were now sallow and waxy. Ezra panicked. _"They aren't real, they aren't real."_

The amber eyes stared in his. Ezra grew ill at the glow behind them fading fast and something in his mind screaming. _"I just rejected him and he's dying. Literally. Oh no."_ The deeper he stared a voice cried like a drowning man in the middle of the ocean for help. For someone to come save them.

"Crowley! I'm sorry." Ezra stepped up and put a hand on a shoulder.

"I..." The eyes started to glow again. "I didn't mean that. I was mistaken. I... But... please prove that you are what you claim to be."

Crowley took another breath and moved an arm fast, whipping some from out of nowhere over Ezra's arm.

Ezra grappled with something heavy and slippery. A black pelt.

His fingers screamed at the memory and searched through it. 

In an instant, Ezra pulled it up to his cheek. He just had to feel it.

_"I've never felt anything so soft in my life. "_

He let the supple folds press against his face and let out a moan. He wanted to sleep there and now for days on it. Not a worry in the world. He only came to his senses when he realize Crowley was supporting his sagging weight from under the pelt and holding him up. Ezra tried to pull back but couldn't let go of the fur. He glanced at Crowley and could suddenly see through his human features. His face was more pointed and animal-like, his long smile more canine, his eyes impossibly larger and set further apart. So alien but strangely human and rather pleasant without any threat.

"You... really... are..."

In a blink Crowley looked as normal a man with strange eyes could.

"You see? I am and I answer your call to be your mate."

Crowley touched one of Ezra's hands and lifted it. 

_"Such soft fingers. And I never noticed his nails were black."_

He pulled out the ring and pocketed the box with his other hand, holding it up in question. Ezra hesitated for an instant and looked back at the eyes.

He gave a short nod.

Crowly slipped the perfectly fit ring on his finger and hoisted the pelt over both their shoulders.

He laced his finger through Ezra's and lifted his hands.

"Thank you," he whispered. "Sorry I was so fast. But... I didn't want to lose you. You're too perfect."

Ezra could only titter, trying not to faint.

"I had seen you earlier last night and never thought a person like you would ask that of me."

"Oh," Ezra squeaked. "Well, uhmmm. "

Crowley pulled him against his body and embraced, leaning his face as close as he could.

"I waited for so long for someone like you, little human."

Ezra shuddered at the intimacy of the voice. And well, the physical intimacy.

"This is a dream, " he whispered, closing his eyes. "This is just a dream."

Crowley was chuckling.

"I know, I feel the same way."

A cool chaste kiss pressed on one of Ezra's cheeks.

"Oh good lord," he whispered. 

The line of kissing moved down his face to his chin before pausing, and he didn't want it to cease. The fur pressed assuringly on the other half of face, promising this was all real. Crowley had slowed but pecked a little harder on Ezra's chin and paused.

Ezra felt this was a question for permission. He clumsily kissed back and heard Crowley moan. With that Crowley was tilting his head and pressed against his lips. Ezra wobbled but Crowley was holding him up.

A tongue slashed over his lips and he yielded.

It had been years since anyone had kissed Ezra like this and he was terrified he would seem out of practice, so let Crowley guide the moment. Crowley didn't seem upset as he swept around. Ezra couldn't help but noticed the Selkie did have an extra row of already sharp teeth and his front canines were abnormally long. 

It seemed like an eternity and over too quick when Crowly pulled back.

Ezra blinked and wobbled more.

"I... thank you, Crowley... _That's terribly lame for a kiss..."_

Crowley snapped back and repeated the kiss, clutching Ezra tighter.

He growled a little as he pulled back, looking up and down Ezra.

Then Ezra felt that nagging sensation again.

"Uhhm, sorry, Crowley," he muttered sheepishly trying to shift the robe over more of his body "What you see is what you get. I know, I'm rather not the loveliest human around and... uhm, if you don't want me like this I understand."

Crowley lunged at him again and kissed him harder. There was an unmistakable grinding to Crowley's body against Ezra's that set his nerves aflutter.

Ezra was feeling more than flush over his body, which now tingled with heat that rose like a sunrise over him.

Crowley was leaned so close to brush his face against Ezra's.

"Now, Angel, I know you aren't ready for the waters. So, let's continue here." He yanked Ezra by the wrist, moving to the door.

"Oh, wait! Ha!' Crowley stopped himself, draping the pelt over Ezra's shoulders and tying like a cape.

"Humans carry each other over the threshold," he proudly announced. He stooped with a small bow that made Ezra hop back.

"If I may?" Crowley beamed and held out an open hand, still bent with his other hand behind his back.

The thought of handing over the pelt and saying 'no' was fading fast. The thought of being this close to this skin and getting kissed again by the creature was bubbling up his throat.

_"Is this it? That leap no one ever told me when to take I thought left years ago. I could... But God forgive me I want to."_

Ezra placed his ring clad hand in the long fingers and could barely look Crowley in the face.

Crowley clamped tight with an excited yelp and pulled Ezra up to him.

"You've made me the happiest creature in the world! I intend on doing the same for you, darling."

With that, he stooped over and lifted Ezra like a child as he went sideways through the door.

Ezra clutched the strong arms as Crowley wheeled around the room.

"Cozy," Crowley complimented. "Let me find your resting place so we can finish our consummation" 

Ezra's lips couldn't even begin to move, but no matter, the Selkie didn't wait for directions.

Crowley didn't take long before he found the messy bedroom.

"Aha! Nice!"

He happily deposited Ezra on his bed and snatched up the pelt, spreading it over the pillows. Ezra clutched his robe.

Crowley had already kicked off his boots and slid the small curtain shut as he sauntered over.

Ezra was barely able to breathe. This was insane, This was madness. This was straight out of a ridiculous romance novel (and he knew what he was talking about) . Crowley shucked off his over jacket and laid next to Ezra, who remained curled up under his robe.

"Well, love? Hmm?" He crawled closer.

Ezra was transfixed on Crowley, not just because he had married him and rushed him to his own unkempt bedroom with very clear intentions to fornicate.

Crowley had stripped down fast and was down to his spaghetti strap black undershirt and short briefs. That was transfixing in and of itself to Ezra. Every uncovered part of his body was covered with tattoos. They swirled and overlaid in dark yet discernable motifs.

Every single inch.

Ezra gasped in a shrill manner that made Crowley turn to see if his bride was all right.

He spun, flinging his shoulder-length hair and the amber eyes strobed their own inner light in the dim rim.

"Hey, you alright?"

"Fine," Ezra squawked as Crowley smirked. "Just... tickety-boo."

Crowley chuckled, seeing Ezra clutching himself while pressing back into the pelt. With a flourish, he reached to his beltline and slowly peeled up his shirt.

"Just... ahh, fine."

Ezra also saw in the dimness there was a streak of black, short hair akin to the pelt creeping up the center of Crowley's back and under his naval. And as he moved his arms he saw it under his arms as well. 

_"Normally it would be strange on a human... but... it's like he does all he can to hide as he is but it's never completely hidden."_

Crowley was happily continuing his show and shucked off the shirt.

In the same sweep of his arm, he hooked down on his pants line.

Ezra whimpered and turned his head.

He heard a scoff but couldn't turn his glowing face back.

"Just... giving you privacy."

"Uhm, we're married, Ezra."

"Oh, I know, I just... thought you might... be shy around a human, that's all."

"Well, look at me and tell me if I look shy then, huh?" 

Ezra let his eyes strain to the corners and jumped when he found Crowley had silently laid across the end of the bed, lounging against and propped up by a hand, front-facing him. He grinned an ever-sharper grin while twisting a lock of his hair. Ezra confirmed that he was covered with tattoos anywhere else that could be. And that Crowley was very much not shy and this was showing more by the second.

Ezra felt faint and leaned back into the pelt as the movement of the Selkie slid up beside him. 

Ezra had only made an effort to kick off his shoes moments before. Now Crowley gingerly unfastened the robe and worked it off Ezra's inert body.

The instant a bare part of his inner arm was exposed, Crowley leaned in and kissed it. His hands were still fussing the over garment off, but he seemed determined to kiss every inch of skin that he exposed.

Ezra inhaled with every feather touch of the lips.

Crowley unbuttoned the shirt buttons and followed suit down the chest.

"Oh god," Ezra whispered, starting to twitch under the touch.

"Like it?" whispered against the skin.

Ezra loved it.

  
  
  


Ezra was a writer. His latest casual passion was to reach into origins and variations of various myths through Europe, mostly what their origins and analogous connections were. And there were an astonishingly recognizable array of creatures and events to explain the basic plagues of humans; why is my wife unexpectedly pregnant? Why is my wife an uncountable mad creature that deserves death? Why have my crops failed and my animals sick and the milk gone sour? Why do attractive women I am not married to seduce me and make me want to fornicate when I am a chaste good soul? The answer was wrapped in convenient misogynistic excuses involving creatures and beasts. Disguised as, possessing, or resembling humans causes all sorts of problems. Nothing an execution, dunking in a lake, or subjecting to a little torture couldn't fix.

Ezra was more fascinated by unearthing the other parts of the stories. Many of these things still were relatable and human, perhaps lonely, and didn't mean all ill. The more old libraries and tiny village bookshops he combed, the more illustrious and purer tales could be found. 

And it took him further from his earliest writing days as a pulp romance novelist. Angelique Trish-Fall wrote several commendable steamy compilations in their youth.

Ezra reckoned he'd find another quiet soul like himself. Not remarkably handsome, who had experience and years and wasn't looking for adventure. Just care and love.

He hoped. 

But today, the day after he turned 50 he was faced with his hobby and something from a romance novel he'd very much like to read marrying him, seducing him, and starting to press its very naked body against his.

Ezra let himself go and stopped clutching his hands, laying them up on either side of his head. Crowley continued his path down Ezra's body.

"Yes," Ezra whispered "please, yes. Don't stop..."

Crowley wasn't. He kissed and mouthed down the stomach Ezra loathed and hated more every time he looked in the mirror.

_"How could anyone want this? I don't even want me."_

"Yes, please." Ezra felt the pelt at the back of his hands.

 _"If one of my bastard friends set this up as a birthday surprise I suppose I had.. aggh! Better made the most of it. Oh god I don't deserve this. It can't be real. It's a trick._ " 

The flood of the prank. How he couldn't believe he found Dave and how overjoyed he was for a moment. How it was so perfect it had to be a trick. Then it WAS a trick. 30 years ago and that clawed up his chest.

Ezra squeezed off a tear.

"No," he whispered.

Crowley stopped.

_"I didn't think he could hear me... oh god, animal hearing."_

" 'No'? '' Crowley asked worriedly. "You don't want this?"

Ezra still couldn't look up.

"It's... not real," he murmured 

Crowley gasped. "It is! I swear! Ezra!"

Ezra groaned helplessly.

Crowley's hands slipped under his shoulders and propped Ezra up to face him.

"Hey, please, I am sorry if I gave you the wrong ideas but I'm true to my..."

"Crowley, I believe you aren't lying but..." Ezra took a deep breath trying to get the tremor out of his voice.

"I... this is all personal and... I... too good to be true."

Crowley hugged him.

"Hey, I'll go slower. I swear, I just got excited after you picked me..."

"Oh Crowley." Ezra finally pushed him back to face him.

"Just... whoever set this up I can't take this a joke right now."

Crowley narrowed his eyes.

"You still think it's a joke, Ezra?" A small grin crept up his face. "You really think someone went through this to make you look silly?"

The threat of laughing in his face was looming

"They did before." Ezra's voice cracked.

Crowley's eyes flew open and he grappled Ezra hard against his chest.

"Oh human, I'm so sorry. I get it now. Someone came at you pretending to love you and did it humiliated you, huh?"

Ezra just nodded against the chest. He totally forgot anything to ground himself and knew he was about to break down against the handsome stranger giving concern about his feelings. Acting or genuine he didn't care, it felt nice to have someone appear sympathetic, even if it was an act.

Crowley pulled him up and grabbed his chin, making him stare into his eyes.

"Listen, I'm really what I claim I am. I am madly in love with you. You picked me last night and asked whether you knew it or not." 

Ezra began to talk but Crowley literally barked over him.

"Listen! Others did hand back my skin last night as they have for years. None of them meant it. A few had the notion and even desire, but they didn't make the connection. You did it out of kindness, when you looked at me you asked all the questions and got the answers and said yes. I have been waiting for this moment for hundreds of years and it happened on a random Thursday night." 

Ezra's whole mind was cleared with those words. The explanation said everything he felt but couldn't fully comprehend. Now he felt what he had done. _"I did. I DID it. I didn't even know what I was doing at that moment in time... But I must have had some vague notion. I reached out and asked him who he was, to reach to me, that I accept his invitation."_

Crowley seemed to sense Ezra had finally put all the ends together and saw the whole story. He reached over and draped the pelt over Ezra's shoulders.

"If... you don't feel the same," he concluded, " I ask you to allow yourself to try to once, please. Or..."

Crowley sagged but remained firm. "Just, tell me my feelings are wrong."

Ezra began to open his mouth when Crowley urgently raised a hand. 

"IF you do that, first tell me that you still like me and don't want me to die. To find another. Then hand me the pelt and thank me for sharing it, but remind me it's mine."

Ezra was thunderstruck at everything he didn't know about Selkies, and he was an expert. Well, he _was_. Not any more.

_"Is this just ritual and he's reacting? Is this a hereditary feature? If he is real would me rejecting him kill him? And, furthermore... if it's real then everything he feels about me is real? And my feelings..."_

Crowley gave a tepid smile.

"As I said, I didn't make the rules, they come with being a Selkie."

Ezra leaned in to kiss Crowley gently.

"I... think... I can allow myself... to... share what I feel for you. Crowley, Selkie from the Deep, I want to be yours."

Crowley embraced him tighter.

"Now," whispered Crowley in mock confusion, "Where were we? Oh, now I recall!" 

With a growl he lunged into Ezra, pressing him against the pillows.

"Slower, slower," Ezra squeaked. "Just... I haven't..."

Crowley's face snapped up, his eyes taking up half of it.

"You Haven't ever done THIS?"

"No!" pouted Ezra. "I mean... I haven't in years!"

Crowley looked relieved. 

"Thank god."

"I just... uhm..." Ezra was renewed in his embarrassment. "Out of practice? I'd hate to disappoint you."

Crowley kissed his forehead. 

"I understand. We have time."

Slippery as his animal namesake he slid against Ezra's body, spooning against it.

This was more than enough for Ezra who hadn't had sex with another in years but hadn't been held or touched in more years.

A terror still gripped him that it was a joke, a prank, so obscenely daydreaming miraculous. Someone had to have set it up, whether to make a spectacle. Or perhaps one grand gesture honestly trying to perk Ezra from the Midlife crisis that he dreaded to come.

Crowley wasn't just holding Ezra tenderly and Ezra couldn't stop himself from squirming a little closer.

Ezra stared ahead in the dimness, allowing his hands to stroke over the smooth bare shoulder.

He recalled last night.

_"I just... I wanted to be helpful. I just picked it up. And then... the world stopped. Yes. All I could see was his eyes. I wanted to say hello... I must have. The way he smiled... Dear god. "_

He looked back at Crowley and didn't jump when his eyes locked with the oversized ones gazing back.

Crowley looked worried, a gentle furrowing of his brows and a brimming at the bottom told Ezra he was anxious.

 _"He must think I don't want him. He made a mistake, or that I just don't care about him."_ The string of tears threatened Ezra's own eyes. He drove them back with a gentle smile.

_"But, the more I am with him... the more I feel there's no mistake. I feel for him like no one I ever have. "_

Crowley flashed his teeth in a relaxed smile. Slowly leaning over, tilting his chin and closing his eyes. Crowley needed no encouragement and locked back, moaning and twisting his slim body. 

This was turning into a moment so pure and beautiful to Ezra, love like he had never dreamed, intimacy with no urgency.

Ezra still was aroused to a point of being uncomfortable and didn't want to remove his hands from Crowley's shoulders yet desperately wanted to pull up a blanket. They pulled apart and Ezra was shrilly breathing through his mouth.

Crowley sniffed once and his eyes trailed down Ezra's body. He grinned at the wet spot on the front of his trousers and bit his bottom lip as he smirked back at his blushing bride.

  
  


"Still, there are ways we can consummate."

"True, yes," Ezra tittered, past the point of being discreet. 

"Anything I could...help with?" Crowley drug his tongue over his top teeth.

"Uhhmm," Ezra bit his lower lip. "If you don't mind... "

Crowley kissed his lips and snaked down his waist.

Ezra was trying not to faint as Crowley ever so slowly unbuttoned his pants front and revealed the fully erect cock. 

Crowley smirked back at Ezra and slinked out his tongue.

Ezra saw white for a moment.

He arched his shoulders into the mattress and sank his fingers into the pelt.

Crowley began moaning and Ezra saw white again.

"Oh, god, Crowley," he wheezed.

Crowley replied with more noise and gentle lavishes from the tongue. Ezra reached down to fist his hair gently. Ezra couldn't stop his hips from twitching. Crowley was more than flexible, much to his relief. The heat, the back, and forth motion, The thrilling graze of teeth. Ezra was finally letting himself go fully, near the brink of laughing with delight. 

_"If someone paid off a particularly good looking prostitute to do this, well, there are worse ways to spend my birthday weekend."_

He thrust in earnest into that hot mouth that seemed to set the owner a fire. Crowley's hands clenched at his thighs, slid over his hips, and pressed back into the motion, his thumbs rolling across his stomach and back. 

With that Crowley began undulating his own body. Ezra barely noticed until he opened his eyes at Crowley hunched forward, mouth obviously working as it should, but Crowley's hands were down at his cock as he fisted over it.

Ezra's vision swam and was daring himself to look lower.

_"Why am I nervous? We're married."_

He could barely pull his sights from that body. He was covered in tattoos that swirled along him. The blue shade of spirals and curls that overlapped and wove over this lean form. 

Crowley stretched his shoulders and stopped his tongue for a moment, his body giving a few sharp convulsions as he came. He swayed and moaned on Ezra's cock, hands gently working out the last sensations on himself. With that Crowley grabbed Ezra's middle and moved bodily with every thrust.

  
  


Ezra crested with a yell, going eagle spread. Crowley clenched with his throat. The morning events, the fact he hadn't had such stimulation in several years, and the sheer momentary relief were too much for the man. Ezra promptly fainted.

Heaving for breath as he pulled to his knees, flinging his hair back, Crowley grinned at the sight of Ezra's face. Sweaty, exhausted, blissed out.

He crawled up, draping alongside the man and flinging the pelt over both of them.

All that could be heard was soft breathing from both.

**Author's Note:**

> [ The version with Aziraphale in the Selkie role is here. ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29454732)
> 
> Ezra is a fainter. Nothing stereotypical about it, he just faints.  
> ________  
> Ezra is openly gay with a codly supportive family that caused him much stress (backstory coming).  
> I didn't want his character closeted, timid, and discovering here. I wanted him experienced, now mild aged and at ease with himself, but still adrift save for a few really close friends who care about him. And he's not sex shy or inexperienced, though normally isn't the type to leap head first into just-met-you making out.  
> \--------  
> I might write an epilogue of the conversation at the table after hands back the pelt and departs.  
> The other characters seated are obviously War, Famine, and Pollution as other supernatural creatures out to dinner with Crowley. The laughter Ezra hears when he leaves is them piling on Crowley that OMG, you finally got hitched! After all these years!  
> __________  
> There's going to be a ton of backstories with Selkies I explain in this one that clear up misconceptions.


End file.
